Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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