I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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