you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
