Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm both gender and math confused
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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