hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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