So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
