yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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