I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
