I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
