I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
