Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
