I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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