don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm like, not good at living.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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