So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
