You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
