I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
