Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
