told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
