dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
