Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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