i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
