While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
