Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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