Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you never un-have a 4some
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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