new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Will exercising make me less horny?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
