it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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