Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
