he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
