Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
