honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
