come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did i walk over a car last night?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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