Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
