Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
