I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
