this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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