the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
