You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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