I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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