hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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