i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
