Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I had to cum in my sink.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
