its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
