What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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