I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
