just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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