I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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