You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
