Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
