Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
