I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
