You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've blown a few things in my day
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
