loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
