these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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